Jennifer Vitti

I mentioned briefly in my previous post that I had a hard week last week. First I’ll preface it by saying I was housesitting. And I know housesitting sounds like the easiest job in the world…but it’s not. It’s very stressful. I don’t usually get a lot of sleep and I don’t eat very well when I’m there, but it’s good money, I like helping people out, the animals are usually cute and well-behaved, and it usually does add convenience location wise (closer to school and clinical placements). Basically that just added to everything that was going on.

Last Tuesday we were supposed to have our first big Acute Care exam. I was SO STRESSED. It was on so much information (everything from cancer treatment to pulmonary embolisms to reading ECGs–and that does not even BEGIN to cover it). I was putting a lot of pressure on myself basically saying that this exam was going to decide how I was going to do in the class. Remember-it’s nursing school so we need an 80 average to pass. Did I think I was going to get a 50…no. But did I think I might fall somewhere in the 70’s…absolutely. I studied more for this exam than I did for the Professional Nursing FINAL last semester. It was ridiculous. Then Tuesday it’s snowing. The exam was at 5:00 PM and it was 2:30 PM and they hadn’t canceled classes. I am freaking out about the exam as I always do along with the fact that it’s snowing. I live half an hour away from school. Last time it snowed and school wasn’t cancelled it took me almost 2 hours to get there and due to work related reasons I wasn’t going to be able to leave for school until 4:00 PM. So I was very stressed about that as well. 3:00 PM I go and walk 2 dogs. I walk out of the driveway and fall flat on my back and knock the wind out of me (I ended up with a big bruise on my back, but I was fine just FYI). But that was the last straw and I started crying. Then all of a sudden I get a call from one of my friends and she told me that the school decided to close! That just lead to another release of emotions. I was really happy at the time although in retrospect I wish it hadn’t been snowing and I had just gotten to take it. The exam got pushed to the next Tuesday (i.e. yesterday).

Anyway, so there was that fiasco. Then I had Acute Care clinical. My patient had Stage IV metastatic cancer. She was very sweet. She’s supposed to get chemo later but the doctor comes in half way through my shift and says they’re not going to give her the chemo. I’m still in the room and the doctor says I can stay. The doctor then proceeds to tell my patient that the treatments aren’t working and she’s going to die. She should change her status to a DNR from a Full Code and talk with hospice. Now although this patient was elderly…she was a very young elderly. She did not want to give up. She was very much in denial after the doctor said this begging for some other diagnostic tests, which the doctor agreed to a few (which all came back negative later on). Then the doctor leaves and this woman starts crying (understandably!) and I’m just shocked that the doctor spoke to her that way and while I was in the room and without her family there! Maybe I’m just naive, but I didn’t find it an appropriate conversation. So I sit with her and I hold her hand while she cries until she falls asleep. I’m in and out of the room throughout the rest of the day (her family did come later). She’s obviously depressed and doesn’t interact much with me. My heart just breaks for her.

The next day I work with her again. The entire day she is depressed (at this point she got the negative results of all the tests she asked for) and hospice came to talk with her at one point and she barely speaks to me and I try to give her and her family some privacy as they grieve. I’m not taking it personally, but this is just my first interaction with this situation and although I keep myself composed inside I’m very emotional. Later that day I found out my patient from the previous week passed away. Then I felt really down. Just so much death. Someone on the floor found out that my patient from the previous week died and my patient this week was told she was dying and she called me the Angel of Death. She meant it as a joke, but wrong person to say it to and wrong time to say it. I went home that day and bawled. The whole weekend I just felt off my game.

Of course Sunday rolls around and I realize I have this stupid test coming around again. Now I feel less prepared for it than I did the first time. Refreshing and cramming Sunday and Monday I finally felt stressed/nervous, but somewhat competent in the material. Took the test yesterday and I honestly have NO IDEA how I did. Usually I have a pretty good gauge of my grade range (I’m not one of those people who thinks I failed and then I did fine or vice versa), so just to be so unsure after studying that much plus having all that stuff still weighing me down some from last week it just felt awful. I really wanted this week to be awesome.

So today I have started to pick up the pieces. I’m starting to feel a little calmer about my exam (grades come out sometime tomorrow, so we’ll see how I’m feeling then!)  and tomorrow I have clinical, but my instructor is sending me down to interventional radiology to watch a “cool procedure”, which is awesome. It gives me a little break to catch my breath, check my emotions, and still be a part of the nursing world.

Sorry for the rant. It’s been a very emotional week or so. You guys all know how nursing school is (or maybe soon will know)…you definitely have those low low weeks. Hopefully my exam grade will be good, clinical will go smoothly, I’m going on a ski weekend with my family and one of my best friends this weekend, and my boyfriend came home today (haven’t seen him in 2 months). There will be lots to smile about.

~love always~

Jen

p.s. the title of my post is the beginning of a quote. The end of it goes… but Love leaves a memory no one can steal

Hi all,

My life has been emotional/stressful (typical nursing school) rollercoaster the past week. I have a big emotional update for you all, but in all honesty I do not have the energy or the time to do it right now. But I did want to post, so… instead I will give you all the long awaited Timberland review

Just to remind you… Nurse Teeny had a contest a while ago in recognition of her 25,000 visitor count I believe it was and she and the folks at Timberland gave away a free pair of nursing shoes. And I won! I was so excited and so thankful to Nurse Teeny and Timberland. I ordered a pair of Timberland Pro Renovas Professional in black.

I have now worn them for a few weeks to Psych Clinical and sometimes school. One word: LOVE! I agree with Nurse Teeny’s most recent comment (since she also got a pair in blue!) they pretty much kick Dansko’s butt (okay she didn’t say it in those words, but same thing!)

First impression of them: they actually look like normal shoes! Tried them on and immediately knew that I was going to have good things to say about them. They fit my feet perfectly (go with what your regular shoe size is if you decide to get a pair), seemed to offer good support, and were so comfy! They slip right on too, but don’t rub up and down my heels when I walk like some clogs with backs do.

Second impression of them: Wore them to school all day and then to night clinical. I thought this might be dangerous as any shoe might need to be worn in first before wearing them for a full day and I didn’t want to get a wrong impression just because I decided to test them out full strength Day 1. Well I was too eager (and I previously didn’t have any good/appropriate shoes to wear to Psych clinical), so I did it anyway. They passed the test with flying colors! I wore them all day and they did just what I initially felt they would do-gave me great support being on my feet at clinical and being comfy to walk around in as a normal shoe in school.

My one complaint (I want this to be an honest review) is that when I sit they hurt the top of my feet a little. Interesting my Dansko’s also do this. I joke with my nursing school friends that this is what makes them nursing shoes. Like they’re saying “What are you doing sitting down? Nurses don’t sit! You have patients who need you!” Haha but in all seriousness I have no idea why they do this (could it be the leather? is this part of the breaking in process?). I have heard other friends mention this with their shoes too (usually Dansko’s). However on the plus side…even though they hurt my feet when I sit, they hurt LESS than my Dansko’s do when I sit. So overall they are still my favorite nursing shoes that I have tried on to date. If I had money I would 100% buy a pair in white, so I could wear them to my other clinicals too.

I definitely recommend the Timberland Pro Renovas to any nursing student or nurse! Timberland did a fantastic job! And thanks again Nurse Teeny for the opportunity to get a new pair of nursing shoes that I LOVE!!

If anyone has any other specific questions about the shoes feel free to Post a Comment or Ask Me a Question.

~love always~

Jen

p.s. Hopefully look for my other big post sometime Wednesday.

Hi all,

Sorry I have been MIA for a week or so. I like to try to post on both Wednesdays and Sundays, but looks like I missed both of those last week. Anywho… I had my first few quizzes (psych was easy, acute care not so easy). I haven’t gotten my psych grade back yet, I did get my acute care quiz back. I received an 84. Not the worst, but I think I can do better. It was only a quiz though and I’m kind of feeling out Acute Care for the types of questions and how it is going to be different from Professional Nursing. Now that I think I’ve found my bearings I think I can bump it up a notch. For that reason I’m actually looking forward to my first Acute Care exam on the 16th. I want to show it who’s boss

Clinicals have been awesome. I LOVE Acute Care clinical. I am learning so much and getting to spend two days with the same patient is great! I finally got to change a sterile dressing on a real patient too!! I almost got to D/C a Foley, but they decided to do it one hour before I came in!! Maybe next time! I really feel like I’m learning a ton and already am starting to feel more like a nursing student and less like a CNA.

Psych clinical was alright too. We don’t get to do as much, but I did get to sit in on some therapies, which were pretty interesting (they happened to be discussing Birth Order in one of the therapy groups, which just happens to be one of my favorite topics to discuss since my siblings and I are like the poster children for Birth Order) and I was able to do vital signs, so I felt somewhat useful instead of in the way. We’re not on the floor for very long though, but I’ve only been there one day. Hopefully, this week and the coming weeks we’ll be on the floor longer, so that I will have something to write my papers on…

My other exciting news is that I received my Timberland nursing shoes that I won through Nurse Teeny!! I’m going to be wearing them around a lot this week, so I’ll be sure to post a review and let Nurse Teeny and everyone know what I think of them sometime next week!

That’s it for now. I’m exhausted, but I’m feeling pretty good That’s all I can ask for while I’m in nursing school I guess!!

~love always~

Jen