The Woes of a Perfectionist
*WARNING* Short vent ahead…
Let me preface this by saying that it’s not a bad trait per se, but sometimes I’m just soooo exhausted from trying to be perfect all. the. time. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. ever. And when I do I beat myself up over it a lot longer than I probably should, even when everything has been resolved. I like to think that I learn from my “mistakes”, which is good. However, it’s unrealistic for me to think that I’m never going to do anything wrong ever or that everyone is always going to be 100% pleased with my life choices. Or that I’m not human and I’m never going to make mistakes (big or small) that aren’t going to have consequences (big or small). And I have to deal. I guess that’s it I need to learn how to deal. ESPECIALLY starting nursing school. I am entering unknown territory here and I can’t be getting upset about some little mistake I make in class/clinical and beating myself up for a week that everyone else is already over with by the next day. I have just always felt this sort of pressure to please everyone, including myself. And it’s not really a competitive thing like I applaud people who do better than me in fact they become role models to me or someone I know I can turn to. It’s just something within me. It’s good to strive to be the best you can be, but it’s also good to be realistic. I just felt the need to write that out because I’ve been struggling with it a lot not only lately, but my entire life and if I can’t change 100% I at least want to be aware of it and make baby steps in the right direction.
Thank you for letting me get that off my chest 
Onto other things…
Nothing too new with nursing school stuff. Our classes opened up on Blackboard today SCHOOL IS GETTING CLOSE THAT MEANS! There wasn’t too much on there, although one of the classes had the syllabus from last year up there, so I was checking it out. I definitely have my work cut out for me, but I’m SO FREAKING EXCITED! I just want to do a little wiggle dance and scream in excitement. Now if only September 8th could get here just a little bit faster…
~love always~
Jen
p.s. 15 days until school starts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
