Jennifer Vitti

I mentioned briefly in my previous post that I had a hard week last week. First I’ll preface it by saying I was housesitting. And I know housesitting sounds like the easiest job in the world…but it’s not. It’s very stressful. I don’t usually get a lot of sleep and I don’t eat very well when I’m there, but it’s good money, I like helping people out, the animals are usually cute and well-behaved, and it usually does add convenience location wise (closer to school and clinical placements). Basically that just added to everything that was going on.

Last Tuesday we were supposed to have our first big Acute Care exam. I was SO STRESSED. It was on so much information (everything from cancer treatment to pulmonary embolisms to reading ECGs–and that does not even BEGIN to cover it). I was putting a lot of pressure on myself basically saying that this exam was going to decide how I was going to do in the class. Remember-it’s nursing school so we need an 80 average to pass. Did I think I was going to get a 50…no. But did I think I might fall somewhere in the 70’s…absolutely. I studied more for this exam than I did for the Professional Nursing FINAL last semester. It was ridiculous. Then Tuesday it’s snowing. The exam was at 5:00 PM and it was 2:30 PM and they hadn’t canceled classes. I am freaking out about the exam as I always do along with the fact that it’s snowing. I live half an hour away from school. Last time it snowed and school wasn’t cancelled it took me almost 2 hours to get there and due to work related reasons I wasn’t going to be able to leave for school until 4:00 PM. So I was very stressed about that as well. 3:00 PM I go and walk 2 dogs. I walk out of the driveway and fall flat on my back and knock the wind out of me (I ended up with a big bruise on my back, but I was fine just FYI). But that was the last straw and I started crying. Then all of a sudden I get a call from one of my friends and she told me that the school decided to close! That just lead to another release of emotions. I was really happy at the time although in retrospect I wish it hadn’t been snowing and I had just gotten to take it. The exam got pushed to the next Tuesday (i.e. yesterday).

Anyway, so there was that fiasco. Then I had Acute Care clinical. My patient had Stage IV metastatic cancer. She was very sweet. She’s supposed to get chemo later but the doctor comes in half way through my shift and says they’re not going to give her the chemo. I’m still in the room and the doctor says I can stay. The doctor then proceeds to tell my patient that the treatments aren’t working and she’s going to die. She should change her status to a DNR from a Full Code and talk with hospice. Now although this patient was elderly…she was a very young elderly. She did not want to give up. She was very much in denial after the doctor said this begging for some other diagnostic tests, which the doctor agreed to a few (which all came back negative later on). Then the doctor leaves and this woman starts crying (understandably!) and I’m just shocked that the doctor spoke to her that way and while I was in the room and without her family there! Maybe I’m just naive, but I didn’t find it an appropriate conversation. So I sit with her and I hold her hand while she cries until she falls asleep. I’m in and out of the room throughout the rest of the day (her family did come later). She’s obviously depressed and doesn’t interact much with me. My heart just breaks for her.

The next day I work with her again. The entire day she is depressed (at this point she got the negative results of all the tests she asked for) and hospice came to talk with her at one point and she barely speaks to me and I try to give her and her family some privacy as they grieve. I’m not taking it personally, but this is just my first interaction with this situation and although I keep myself composed inside I’m very emotional. Later that day I found out my patient from the previous week passed away. Then I felt really down. Just so much death. Someone on the floor found out that my patient from the previous week died and my patient this week was told she was dying and she called me the Angel of Death. She meant it as a joke, but wrong person to say it to and wrong time to say it. I went home that day and bawled. The whole weekend I just felt off my game.

Of course Sunday rolls around and I realize I have this stupid test coming around again. Now I feel less prepared for it than I did the first time. Refreshing and cramming Sunday and Monday I finally felt stressed/nervous, but somewhat competent in the material. Took the test yesterday and I honestly have NO IDEA how I did. Usually I have a pretty good gauge of my grade range (I’m not one of those people who thinks I failed and then I did fine or vice versa), so just to be so unsure after studying that much plus having all that stuff still weighing me down some from last week it just felt awful. I really wanted this week to be awesome.

So today I have started to pick up the pieces. I’m starting to feel a little calmer about my exam (grades come out sometime tomorrow, so we’ll see how I’m feeling then!)  and tomorrow I have clinical, but my instructor is sending me down to interventional radiology to watch a “cool procedure”, which is awesome. It gives me a little break to catch my breath, check my emotions, and still be a part of the nursing world.

Sorry for the rant. It’s been a very emotional week or so. You guys all know how nursing school is (or maybe soon will know)…you definitely have those low low weeks. Hopefully my exam grade will be good, clinical will go smoothly, I’m going on a ski weekend with my family and one of my best friends this weekend, and my boyfriend came home today (haven’t seen him in 2 months). There will be lots to smile about.

~love always~

Jen

p.s. the title of my post is the beginning of a quote. The end of it goes… but Love leaves a memory no one can steal

Hi all,

My life has been emotional/stressful (typical nursing school) rollercoaster the past week. I have a big emotional update for you all, but in all honesty I do not have the energy or the time to do it right now. But I did want to post, so… instead I will give you all the long awaited Timberland review

Just to remind you… Nurse Teeny had a contest a while ago in recognition of her 25,000 visitor count I believe it was and she and the folks at Timberland gave away a free pair of nursing shoes. And I won! I was so excited and so thankful to Nurse Teeny and Timberland. I ordered a pair of Timberland Pro Renovas Professional in black.

I have now worn them for a few weeks to Psych Clinical and sometimes school. One word: LOVE! I agree with Nurse Teeny’s most recent comment (since she also got a pair in blue!) they pretty much kick Dansko’s butt (okay she didn’t say it in those words, but same thing!)

First impression of them: they actually look like normal shoes! Tried them on and immediately knew that I was going to have good things to say about them. They fit my feet perfectly (go with what your regular shoe size is if you decide to get a pair), seemed to offer good support, and were so comfy! They slip right on too, but don’t rub up and down my heels when I walk like some clogs with backs do.

Second impression of them: Wore them to school all day and then to night clinical. I thought this might be dangerous as any shoe might need to be worn in first before wearing them for a full day and I didn’t want to get a wrong impression just because I decided to test them out full strength Day 1. Well I was too eager (and I previously didn’t have any good/appropriate shoes to wear to Psych clinical), so I did it anyway. They passed the test with flying colors! I wore them all day and they did just what I initially felt they would do-gave me great support being on my feet at clinical and being comfy to walk around in as a normal shoe in school.

My one complaint (I want this to be an honest review) is that when I sit they hurt the top of my feet a little. Interesting my Dansko’s also do this. I joke with my nursing school friends that this is what makes them nursing shoes. Like they’re saying “What are you doing sitting down? Nurses don’t sit! You have patients who need you!” Haha but in all seriousness I have no idea why they do this (could it be the leather? is this part of the breaking in process?). I have heard other friends mention this with their shoes too (usually Dansko’s). However on the plus side…even though they hurt my feet when I sit, they hurt LESS than my Dansko’s do when I sit. So overall they are still my favorite nursing shoes that I have tried on to date. If I had money I would 100% buy a pair in white, so I could wear them to my other clinicals too.

I definitely recommend the Timberland Pro Renovas to any nursing student or nurse! Timberland did a fantastic job! And thanks again Nurse Teeny for the opportunity to get a new pair of nursing shoes that I LOVE!!

If anyone has any other specific questions about the shoes feel free to Post a Comment or Ask Me a Question.

~love always~

Jen

p.s. Hopefully look for my other big post sometime Wednesday.

Hi all,

Sorry I have been MIA for a week or so. I like to try to post on both Wednesdays and Sundays, but looks like I missed both of those last week. Anywho… I had my first few quizzes (psych was easy, acute care not so easy). I haven’t gotten my psych grade back yet, I did get my acute care quiz back. I received an 84. Not the worst, but I think I can do better. It was only a quiz though and I’m kind of feeling out Acute Care for the types of questions and how it is going to be different from Professional Nursing. Now that I think I’ve found my bearings I think I can bump it up a notch. For that reason I’m actually looking forward to my first Acute Care exam on the 16th. I want to show it who’s boss

Clinicals have been awesome. I LOVE Acute Care clinical. I am learning so much and getting to spend two days with the same patient is great! I finally got to change a sterile dressing on a real patient too!! I almost got to D/C a Foley, but they decided to do it one hour before I came in!! Maybe next time! I really feel like I’m learning a ton and already am starting to feel more like a nursing student and less like a CNA.

Psych clinical was alright too. We don’t get to do as much, but I did get to sit in on some therapies, which were pretty interesting (they happened to be discussing Birth Order in one of the therapy groups, which just happens to be one of my favorite topics to discuss since my siblings and I are like the poster children for Birth Order) and I was able to do vital signs, so I felt somewhat useful instead of in the way. We’re not on the floor for very long though, but I’ve only been there one day. Hopefully, this week and the coming weeks we’ll be on the floor longer, so that I will have something to write my papers on…

My other exciting news is that I received my Timberland nursing shoes that I won through Nurse Teeny!! I’m going to be wearing them around a lot this week, so I’ll be sure to post a review and let Nurse Teeny and everyone know what I think of them sometime next week!

That’s it for now. I’m exhausted, but I’m feeling pretty good That’s all I can ask for while I’m in nursing school I guess!!

~love always~

Jen

I have  a VERY strong love hate relationship with Acute Care already. I love that I am learning so much already and that I feel like it’s more practical than Professional Nursing, but oh my goodness it is soooo stressful and exhausting and it’s only Week 2. It feels like I’ve been thrown into the deep end of the pool, but I’m only allowed to use my legs!! Haha! First Quiz next week. Hopefully it goes well. I have my first psych quiz on the same day too. Great!

I also have my first REAL clinical tomorrow (no more site orientation). We’ll see how it goes. My instructor is going to email me info on my patient tonight. I’ve been checking my email like a mad woman haha. I’m wicked nervous, but very excited.

Short post today since I have to get back to reading!!

~love always~

Jen

Special thanks to Nurse Teeny for choosing me as the winner of her most recent Give-Away Contest! I won a pair of Timberland nursing shoes from their PRO Renovas line. I can’t wait to try them out! I’ll be sure to write a review and let everyone know how they are! Thanks again Nurse Teeny!!

I’m heading into my second week of second semester tomorrow. Tomorrow I have Acute Care and I have my Psych Clinical orientation (we do have an orientation at Regis for this clinical). Last week I was at my new clinical site for Acute Care both Thursday and Friday. We didn’t treat any patients though because we had a lot to go over as far as learning how to document on the computers and what was expected of us. I really like my new clinical site, instructor, and fellow clinical group members. And I know you’re all anxiously awaiting to find out what type of floor I am on this semester for Acute Care. Drum roll….. it’s a hematology/oncology/medsurg/urology floor. So kind of similar to my last site, but not at the same time. There is definitely A LOT more expected of us this time around. Which is good and terrifying of course haha. I need to expand my skills and be challenged and take on more responsibility, but oh how good I felt to be pretty confident in the skills I learned last semester by the end of my last day of clinical. But this IS nursing school. I’ll get over it

Time to go finish my reading for class tomorrow!!

~love always~

Jen

Yesterday I started back to school! I am only taking two classes this semester (Acute Care and Psych), but I am in clinical THREE DAYS a week. I start with Acute Care clinical tomorrow and Friday…no orientation no nothing YIKES! I’m nervous as usual, but also really excited (haha as usual). I know what facility I am in, but I actually don’t even know what type of floor, so tomorrow will be a surprise! I assume it will be some sort of med/surg floor obviously, but for example last semester I was on a med/surg floor that was more specific to a mix of respiratory issues and gynecologic surgeries! So even though it might be a ” general med/surg floor” it still might mean there are certain patients that are placed there first! I’ll be sure to let you all know later what my floor ends up being!

Both my classes were a little boring yesterday–first day back is always a slow start. But I have no doubt that things will pick up VERY quickly especially with us starting clinical immediately. And of course I went to pencil in my quizzes, exams, and papers, and sure enough they come up pretty quickly. I have no doubt that next week will be very busy like I had never left.

Monday I’ve volunteered to help out with Accepted Students Day for individuals who were accepted into the class starting this fall (this won’t be everyone accepted since my school has rolling admissions, but it will be some–and it also will include people who may not choose to go here). I have already had more than one prospective student find me through allnurses.com and ask my opinion on the school since I’m pretty honest about my school, but I also don’t only bash it like many (you’ll find this at any school). Some of my friends are volunteering too, so hopefully we’ll have a good time and meet some people who will be following in our footsteps

In non-nursing news… it was snowing yesterday (yay MA in January) but just like flurrying all day. Unfortunately this made the roads A MESS. I drive this little Honda Civic, which I LOVE, but unfortunately it sucks in the snow. I consider myself a pretty good driver (never gotten a ticket, never gotten in an accident…knock on wood!). Anyway I live in a town that is mostly back roads. I’m driving home from school and I come up on this little hill that has a stop sign at the bottom because it leads into an intersection. I have to stop and cross this intersection to continue to my house. So as I’m going up the other side I prepare myself because I travel this hill frequently and I know that it’s pretty steep and I know how my car handles in the slush/snow. I get to the top and I start to head down it and I’m talking to myself “Okay, you’re fine. You’re going only a few miles/hour. You’re just going to tap on the brakes and gradually push it down so you don’t skid”.

So I do all this and I’m heading down the hill and… my car is not stopping. The brakes were fine, but it was just too much of a mess and too much of a hill. There was legit nothing I could do! And I was quickly coming toward the intersection, which was busy at this time of day, so I couldn’t just go through it. So I decided to veer off toward the stop sign. I knew it would do damage to my car if I hit it, but I figured it would be minimal since I was going slow enough and it was still better than going through the intersection. Lucky me I missed the stop sign and got stopped by a snow bank! Of course now I’m completely stuck. I put my emergency blinkers on and I get out the shovel I have in the back of my car and I start digging myself out. I was worried that someone was going to come down the hill and do the same thing that I did, but then they WOULD hit me. Lucky me again…someone (who I actually happened to know from highschool–haha kinda embarrasing) comes by with a truck and a chain and says “Can I pull you out?” Obviously I graciously said yes and thanked him a million times and he pulled me out and I got home safe and sound. I immediately started bawling when I walked through the door haha. AND there was ZERO damage to my car. Amazing.

My friends and family said I did everything I could and I made the right judgment calls, but I hate that I thought I was taking all the necessary precautions and if I did do everything right there was still NOTHING I could do about it. This then reminded me of nursing and is obviously something I’m going to have to deal with. Sometimes you can do all that you can…make all the right judgment calls…and still something bad might happen to your patient or the patient might even die. This is called life. And I apparently am still learning to deal with it.

~love always~

Jen

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I’m one of those people that is really good at starting things when it’s the beginning of something (you’ll always find I start new habits on a Sunday, the 1st of the month, or even better the 1st of the year!!). So far I have started a new regimen of exercising (yay me!), cleaning my house (I’m very domestic and can’t wait til I have my own house to clean and organize–haha I know I’m weird), and have gotten a head start on my homework and planning for next semester. And let me tell you it feels great! I love the new year.

Classes start in 10 days!! (January 19th) I can’t even believe it. It is one of those feelings where I feel like I have been out for a while, but at the same time I feel like I just left. I’m anxious and dreading going back. I love nursing and I don’t mind school much either (I know some people love nursing, but hate school), so I’m excited to go back and learn new things and get new experiences (THREE DAYS OF CLINICAL NEXT SEMESTER!!), but the thought of all the reading, case studies, and exam stress wants me to stay snug in my house and never leave haha. That’s another part of my New Year resolution though–TIME MANAGEMENT! And working on not being so stressed. I would also like to try to schedule in a little “fun time” every now and again. I don’t think I did enough of that first semester and it really got to me by the end. I don’t know how many of these resolutions will stick throughout the year, but at least I have good intentions.

Ahead for next semster: Acute Care and Psych. For the first week of Acute Care we’ve already been assigned readings on Intro to Med/Surg, Acute Care Health Care, Inflammation/Infection, and Oncology. Here we go!

~love always~

Jen

My first semester of nursing school ended yesterday. Wow! I received all my grades today (unofficially) and looks like I’ll be getting all A’s for my first semester! I’m really proud of myself This semester has been crazy. I cried for sure. It was really hard at times. I never wanted to give up, but there were times when I definitely got burnt out. I made a lot of friends this semester (clinical ladies-I love ya!) who I could never have gotten through without. Who better to understand what you’re going through than other people in your class?! So glad they were there for me. And my boyfriend!! Who was soooo patient when I would cry or snap because I was frustrated or overwhelmed. He’s the best!

This semester just solidified that I am fulfilling my dream and this is where I want to be. This is what I’m supposed to be doing!! I’m so thankful for the break to be able to regroup, reorganize, and recharge, but I also can’t wait to continue on my journey. Next semester is Acute Care (aka Med/Surg–I will probably use those interchangeably) and Psych. Should be interesting… Then the summer is Peds and maternity. That’s what I’m really waiting for because that’s what I’m pretty sure I want to do. I’ve heard next semester is HARD. I’m both nervous and fired up at the same time haha. It will be an adventure for sure…can’t wait to share it with you.

Expect some posts throughout my month off about some more reflections of this past semester (maybe my favorite patient, some clinical/lab experiences, more about classes, etc). Then when next semester starts (mid January!!) *hopefully* I’ll be able to post more regularly. One of my New Year’s resolutions (I always have a few!) will definitely be to manage my time better for school. Sometimes I think that’s really half the battle!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!

~love always~

Jen

December 22nd I take my last final of my first semester of nursing school! My final schedule is as follows: Health Assessment Practical Wednesday December 16th from 3:00-4:00 PM, Professional Nursing Cumulative Final Thursday December 17th from 2:00-4:00 PM, Clinical Pharmacology Exam #4 Monday December 21st from 5:30-6:30 PM, and Health Assessment Cumulative Final Tuesday December 22nd from 10:00-11:30ish AM.

Before this I also had lots of papers and exams that professors were trying to squeeze in last minute. I have been very neglectful of my blog–SORRY! I hope to do better next semester. It was the whole being behind in my reading from Day 1 that threw me off big time. Not next semester though! I’m all over it! We have been told that we will be assigned “homework” (most likely reading) for over winter break. I plan to be very organized about it and be prepared.

I had my last clinical Thursday. It was bitter sweet. I am glad to have a break from getting up at 5:00 AM and having the stress of it off during finals, but wow what a great group I had. My clinical instructor and my clinical girls were AMAZING. I don’t know if I would’ve survived first semester without them. I don’t think any other clinical group in my program had the same type of closeness that we had as a whole. I hope we’re all together next semester (it’s probably unlikely unfortunately, but some of us will probably be together since clinical sites are somewhat based on living locaiton).

I have to return to studying. I just wanted to update everyone. Expect a good thoughtful post either on the 22nd or 23rd about my reflections on this past semester.

Wishing everyone luck in their finals!!!

~love always~

Jen

School is still going well. I passed my injections test, so hopefully next week I will be able to give one in clinical! Everything seems to be going well I’m just tired of the non-stop work! Ugh! Monday I have a clinical paper due and a pharmacology test, and wednesday I have a health assessment paper due and a health assessment quiz! Then the next 2.5 weeks after that are finals!! (we’re still in classes for part of it, but some classes are giving us finals during class time). So I’m just busy busy as usual.

My boyfriend came home last week (he’s home for 2 weeks–he’s a year younger than me so he’s still in college) so I have been enjoying his company a lot. I love having him home. We’ve been dating for almost 5 years now, but for almost all of it we were both away at different colleges, so needless to say we’re excited for him to be done with school in August, so we can finally have a non-long distance relationship

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thanks for supporting me in my nursing school journey so far! I’m definitely really thankful for my friends, family, and boyfriend this year…I could never have done it without them!

Now let’s eat!

I love Thanksgiving dinner…heading home around 1:00 to be with my parents, both my siblings who are home for college, my grandparents, and one of my uncles. Should be a good time

I love the holidays (I’m already listening to Christmas music–laugh all you want I LOVE it), so definitely expect some good holiday cheer from me!

~love always~

Jen